Postnatal Depression

in Men

Marc Nairz-Federspiel

Depression is one of the most widespread mental health conditions, affecting one in five people at some point in their lives. Even if you are not personally affected, the chances are high that someone close to you may struggle with depression.

A common misconception is that men experience depression less frequently than women—in reality, they are just more likely to suppress or ignore their symptoms.

Depression and Its Impact on Relationships

When a partner develops depression, it can strain the relationship and deeply affect the non-depressed partner. Many experience guilt, blaming themselves for their partner’s condition, which may later turn into frustration or resentment.

Recognizing depression early is crucial, as early intervention significantly improves recovery outcomes. However, detecting depression in a loved one is often challenging.

Recognizing Depression in a Partner

Depression can dramatically change a person, and many individuals suffering from it learn to hide their struggles well. They may continue to socialize, work, and laugh, making it difficult for those around them to notice the signs.

While symptoms vary, common warning signs include:

• Persistent sadness or emotional numbness – Some individuals do not feel sadness but rather a sense of emptiness or detachment.

• Social withdrawal & loss of interest – Avoiding friends, family, and activities that were once enjoyable.

• Sleep disturbances – Insomnia, frequent waking, or excessive sleep.

• Fatigue & lack of motivation – Difficulty handling daily tasks, appearing exhausted and unmotivated.

• Anxiety & guilt – Feeling worthless, helpless, or responsible for their condition.

• Difficulty concentrating – Struggling to focus or process information.

• Changes in appetite & weight – Either overeating or loss of appetite, leading to noticeable weight changes.

• Unexplained physical symptoms – Persistent headaches, digestive issues, or chronic pain.

• Irritability, impulsiveness & outbursts – More common in men, leading to anger issues or risky behavior (e.g., reckless driving or excessive sports engagement).

• Substance abuse – Using alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism.

• Suicidal thoughts – Statements like “I can’t go on” or “You’d be better off without me” require immediate attention. If you suspect your partner is struggling with suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek professional help and talk openly about their feelings.

How to Support a Depressed Partner

1. Educate yourself – Understanding depression helps you offer the right support.

2. Start a conversation – Express your concern and observations without judgment.

3. Encourage professional help – Depression is treatable with therapy and medication.

4. Be there, but don’t force – Offer support without pressuring them into activities.

5. Avoid dismissive phrases – Statements like “Just think positive” or “Snap out of it” can be harmful.

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Caring for Yourself as a Partner

Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining. Ensure you:

• Maintain your own social life and hobbies

• Seek support from family or groups for caregivers

• Set boundaries and take breaks when needed

• Consider therapy for yourself, if necessary

Depression is a challenge, but with understanding, patience, and the right support, relationships can survive and even strengthen through the journey to recovery.